lastnight i got really drunk and i been drinking loads of coffee i cant explain everthing coz in the past i was depressed alot and i started drinking to feel better and i started drinking huge amounts of coffee one after another...and i use to overdose on herbal pills..although idont do that now but i do think about it
i started sniffing turps/white spirit/nail varnish last year and even though it was a on and off phase i did stop and then i did again a few months after that...now lastnight i got drunk..ive been drinking coffee after coffee i dont know how much over the past week or so...and i sniffed like crazy lastnight..whislt i was under the booze and the caffeine
Plz dont lecture me, i can tell im harming myself and im doing it subconciously i guess at times im doing it too myself...i also cut myself lastnight as well...and all that lastnight and today i feel fine?..but i feel strange i didnt sleep at all lastnight infact my heart was racing like hell...i was breathing fast and well...i was more/less resting had my eyes closed today...i just feel dead really but i feel fine.
So i dont no what the heck is wrong with me...why i even did that plus when iwas sniffing the turps i had an accident and it went all over my face and on the floor..but i managed to wash it all off bt now my carpet stinks i was laughing hysterically.
Im sorry this is so long am i depressed deep down? because i dont feel low yet why am i doing this to myself i cant make sense of it anymore.
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