Recently both my flatmates moved out of our lovely flat. Both went back to their country of origin
after 10 yrs working in the city. We lived together harmoniously for 2 yrs with no real problems.
There was a nice flow in the flat and nobody trod on each others toes.
i had to find two new flatmates, which made me kind of nervous as I was very comfortable with the living arrangements. So a guy and a girl moved into the smaller rooms, both in there mid twenties, I am in my early thirties and so were the previous flatmates.
Of course it was all lovely at first and everybody made an effort. Then I sense the girl is avoiding me and the other guy flatmate and start hearing tales she is complaining about me leaving windows open
and drips of coffee in the kitchen. I was pretty easy going with the way she was acting as I knew she hadn't much experience sharing (is used to her own place and being queen bee I guess) so I was really generous with allowing her to pay less rent and asking the agency for a new carpet which she consistently demanded (she is pretty fussy... but I manage to let it wash over me, since we all have more important things to do)... so I arranged a new carpet to keep things harmonious, we get a new carpet, and the rent goes up.
Then, she is never cleaning, buying toilet roll, cleaning stuff. Fine, since it seems she spends less time at home than than myself and the other flatmate. When she is around she is rude, distant and generally unfriendy and creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Out of the blue, she introduces her new boyfriend ( not exactly a retiring rose, and a rather arrogant character) and says he is staying in her room whilst she goes home for a week or two... without consulting me and the other flatmate before hand. Effectively, we are living with a complete stranger who is not on the contract that she has only know for a few weeks, and we vetted to live in the house.
ok, fine. after a week, she returns. now we are living with a couple who are using the living room to store their excess stuff (althjough their room is quite small_but perhaps they should look into getting somewhere bigger??) they are constantly taking up the living room space with their work, arranging meetings at home etc... effectively treating the place as the two of them were living there alone.
after two weeks, he wants to stay another 2 weeks, even though he has a place to stay. He starts complaining about the way me and the other flatmate a living, cleaning... the fact I am making coffee in the morning and spilling a few drops on the cooker. This was all after a discussing about how easy going they would be if he stayed.... but underlyingly there is a tension.
I feel quite naturally I lose my patience and say he cannot stay.After which I have about 30mins of abuse thrown at me, telling me Im messy, that Im not 'as good as they are' in effect, saying they are more worthy of living there than I am..... suddenly, Im made to feel like an alien in my own home which I pay alot of money for.... even if I dont use the living room in the evening, surely it would be nice to come home and not find it occupied by this couple and their friends 70% of the time. The whole dynamic of the flat is now unbalanced and suddenly the girl is treating it like it is her place.
My other flatmate was with me, but he is trying to please everyone and keeps changing his mind about whether this guy should stay or not.
Anyway, after the fracas, they made more of an effort. After really uncomfortable week, we cleared the air and I decided not to care and let him stay. he and she were grateful.... but he already found a place but wanted to stay with us a couple of days extra.... which turned into a week and has now turned into one month... overall he has been here scott free in a very expensive flat (which myself and the other flatmate pay the bulk) for 2 months.... and I am not certain he is going to leave soon. he is suppossed to be going back to his country, but I fear he'll be back living with us in a month or so as woprk is taking off for him here.
Mu patience is wearing thin. living with a couple creates an unbalance dynamic in a flatshare, but when one of them pays nothing I find it intolerable.
I find it hard telling him to leave because the girl flatmate and her boyfriend are not reasonable and the fake friendliness goes out the window as soon as they dont get what they want and they start acting like white trash... shouting, abusive etc.. right now they are all nicey nicey so it will make me look a total Hitler if I put my foot down, especially since i have no ally in the other flatmate.
I signed up to live in a flat for three people, not four.... it is not big, extra people are not inconspicuous and its not cheap!
rant over and apologies for the bad english
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