Zounds! I roared. Damn and blast it to hell! There she was again, doddery old bastard. It was the Mother in Law, 107 and madder than a frog in Clapham.
"Now be nice VG", warns the good Lady of the House. Bollocks I will, I thought but there was no way out of it. The dribbly auld trotter was even now peering behind her daughter sticking her tongue out and making a stupid face at me. Whiskers bristling we all sauntered into the living room where she dragged a terrified Mandrake (my Papa New Guinean man servant) behind the sofa. Ten minutes later he reappeared bashfully wearing a pretty frock,his hair in bobbed curls and sporting a fetching parasol. Begad! I motioned to him to keep quiet and chin up as it were, and he sat down next to me grimly trying to focus on Countdown.
"Here we are Mother, tea and sandwiches." Sings the wife.
"Thsssssspppppppppp!" Came the reply from behind the sofa,
"Now now Mother, don't be rude."
"Thheeeesssssssppppptt tttt!" Another bloody raspberry followed by fits of giggles and mirth.
I told the wife to ignore her and we all sat and watched the squirm inducing and wholly addictive show that is Countdown.
"Paaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrp !" Followed by shrieks of crone like laughter. Oooer, that didn't sound good.
And good it wasn't, a fearsome stool lay like a basking Salamander on my thick pile Egyptian carpet. The dotty old jelly fish sped off into the garden and pounced on a screaming neighbor of mine. He too appeared later bashful and embarrassed only this time he was dressed to the nines in a 12th Hussar Cavalry outfit.
Outstanding huh?
Anyway about the bloody carpet, what is the best way to clean it without using bleach?
 |
HOME
· Carpet flooring
BUY & FIT CARPET FLOORING
· Carpet Fitting
· Wholesale Carpet
· Carpeting Quotes
· DIY Carpets
· Carpet stairs
· Carpet Right
· Wilton Carpet
· Allied Carpet
CARPET MAINTENANCE & CLEANING
· Carpet Cleaning
· Carpet Cleaning Service
· Carpet Cleaner
· Vax Carpet Washer
· Carpet Steam Cleaner
· Karcher Carpet Cleaner
· Carpet Cleaner Kent
· Bissell Carpet Shampoo
TYPES OF CARPET
· Bathroom Carpet
· Kitchen Carpet
CARPET FLOORING ON THE WEB
· Carpet articles and questions
MORE LINKS
|
