Vote for me.
This is my manifesto for the next election,
I promise I will (not) change direction.
You will be forced to walk or catch the bus,
I?ll get a taxi without any fuss.
I?ll travel for free on the express train,
While you stand and queue in the wind and rain.
I?ll always fly first class at your expense,
No security checks drinks with compliments.
Hey diddle, diddle keep me in the middle,
It makes no difference we?re all on the fiddle
Vote for me, vote for me, you must vote for me,
So I can be your next cheating M.E.P.
This is my promise to the electorate,
I?ll con my way through any inspectorate.
You?ll be misled by political command,
I?ll change the law for an honour or a grand.
You can pay the taxes or face arrest,
I?ll claim for my mortgage and interest.
I promise your vote won?t make you the fool,
Here is the receipt for my swimming pool.
Hey diddle, diddle I voted to attack,
And send all your children off to Iraq.
Vote for me, vote for me, you must vote for me,
So I can be your next lying M.P.
I give you my word ?I don?t think you?re dumb?,
But I lied about that referendum.
I got our soldiers those cheap melting boots,
Useless radios; rifles that can?t shoot!
Don?t blame me I always followed the rules,
I only took money for carpets and stools.
I didn?t keep my family seat afloat,
By claiming for cleaning my granddad?s moat.
Hey diddle, diddle I?m still in the middle,
Though your daughter?s dead and your son?s a cripple.
Vote for me, vote for me, you must vote for me,
So I can be your next thieving M.P.
This is the truth I promise to repay,
All of the money I stole yesterday.
If deselected or voter rejected
I?ll keep all the furniture I selected.
With that flat and my house that you paid for,
Plus that little cottage by the seashore.
Don?t be angry my property was ?flipped?
When doing accounts my little pen slipped.
Hey diddle, diddle you?re in a puddle,
It?s not just the speaker who?s in a muddle.
Vote for me, vote for me, you must vote for me,
I want that ?Gold plated? pension for me.
Edgar Noe 20/5/2009
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