I recently came across something I wrote a while ago. I'd really appreciate your feedback and any compliments and/or constructive criticism.
Here it is:
The promise of summer hung in the humid air, like a reminder of Daisy's childhood and a clue of what was yet to come. The deep voices of her neighbours drifted up towards her window, accompanied by the drone of a lawn mower. She stared blankly at the television screen, anonymous bodies dancing across it, music blaring from their mouths. She had been doing this for a long time now. Staring at the writhing, faceless bodies, mascara rimming her empty eyes. All dressed up with nowhere to go.
Summer may have injected everyone else with hope and excitement, and it had to Daisy once, but now it failed it's attempts at making her feel anything. She checked the time on her battered Motorola. 12.32. How long had she been sitting in this position? She couldn't remember. She clicked the 'social networks' button, logged onto Facebook, scanned her striking eyes over the words on the page. Messages - 0.
Without warning, her head fell into her hands, hot, salty tears running down the contours of her face. Shoulders heaving, breath quickening, she felt the hopelessness weigh over her until she was aware of nothing but the high-pitched wail emenating from her throat. Fingers fumbling on the carpeted floor, she locked her tiny hands around the bright blue pin that lay there. In one swift move, it was emmersed in the transparent skin covering the underside of her left wrist.
The pain spread through Daisy's entire body, followed by an overpowering sense of calm. Breathing slowed, wailing stopped, she smiled peacefully and tipped her head back against the cold wall.
------------------------------- -------
One glance in the makeup-stained mirror confirmed Daisy's expectations. She was a mess. Traces of black mascara ran down from bloodshot eyes over puffy red skin. Despite this, she was perfectly aware she was beautiful. She wished it was enough.
She sighed and shrugged her shoulders at her appearance, before running down the stairs and into the traditional kitchen. At a sickeningly quick pace, her eyes moved over the bottles on the wooden shelves, lingered on a deep red wine. She clasped her fingers around it's glass body, inspected the label, sniffed the opening. Without thinking, she gulped it down, feeling the hot liquid glide down her raw throat. Her fair-skinned face contorted into a grimace. She ******* hated wine.
She walked into the garden, feeling out of place amidst the sunny optimism that surrounded her. Grass green, sky blue. Sun shining, birds chirping. She willed the atmosphere to make her feel all right again. It didn't. Her thought were cloudy from the pain and the wine. Good.
_______________________________
Daisy Jones didn't know when she had come to be this way. She remembered times when she had been a different person. Nine years old and running through hidden woods. Reading poems aloud in class at seven. Playing with the neighbourhood children in the mismatched garden belonging to her old house.
Things were different now. Sometimes in the morning she found it hard to breathe. Sometimes she'd be in the middle of something when she'd stop and think, What am I doing? Why am I here? Sometimes she'd try to remember the last time she'd been truly content and get angry with herself when she didn't know.
That's all I've written so far, what are your thoughts? Answers will be greatly appreciated.
 |
HOME
· Carpet flooring
BUY & FIT CARPET FLOORING
· Carpet Fitting
· Wholesale Carpet
· Carpeting Quotes
· DIY Carpets
· Carpet stairs
· Carpet Right
· Wilton Carpet
· Allied Carpet
CARPET MAINTENANCE & CLEANING
· Carpet Cleaning
· Carpet Cleaning Service
· Carpet Cleaner
· Vax Carpet Washer
· Carpet Steam Cleaner
· Karcher Carpet Cleaner
· Carpet Cleaner Kent
· Bissell Carpet Shampoo
TYPES OF CARPET
· Bathroom Carpet
· Kitchen Carpet
CARPET FLOORING ON THE WEB
· Carpet articles and questions
MORE LINKS
|
