Hi, I'm a fifteen year old girl (please take into consideration I am quite young!) and have recently taken a interest in writing. This is the first thing I've written, and is loosely based on the story of 'Hansel and Gretel' - I'm not finished yet, and wanted some honest opinion!
The trees crowded together in small huddles, refusing many a simple path to the corresponding life on the other side of the forest. Very few attempted to venture this excessive thicket and usually ceased, they had no choice but to turn around and retreat, before it was too late, and the trees would swallow them whole.
Some however, those who managed to manipulate the grasp of the trees , would enter a bleak, and vague clearing. The fog, would consume the majority of people, leaving them lost, bewildered and alone. Forcing them to live a life of isolation, wandering the forest for the rest of their days, retracing there steps and leading them to delirious almost paralytic kind of self hate, that would allow a slow, but painful breakdown of sanity.
Very occasionally, if the sun was shining, and the woodland were at rest; the victim of the forest,would manage to outrun the fog. They would manage to find there way to a small, narrow cobbled path. By now we can assume, if someone, a protagonist as such; where to ever reach this state, they would feel they have eliminated all fear, and be struck with an overwhelming sense of achievement.
Well, it just so happens, that one particularly bitter winters evening, an adolescent, a simple boy, named Felix. was sent from the townsfolk as a sacrifice, an almost peace offering to the forest. The had been scheming as a society for a while now, plotting a way to enter the wood, venture through, then vanish once they reached the outside world, planning new, enriching lives for the lot of them - but alas, young Felix's blossoming adulthood would be renounced in return. Being a simple lad, and having no family to stop these events taking place, Felix was told he was an 'adventurer' braving the forest, surrendering on behalf of the towns people. he truly believed he was a hero.
Having stumbled through the forest's home grown traps, and aimlessly mismanaging the fog, Felix, quite surprisingly made his way onto the delicate man made path. Some, philosophers perhaps, would question waging on.For if very few had entered the forest before him, whom could have created such a beautiful and magnificent pathway. Felix, a little nerved by the silence hummed a dissonant tune. If He were a little more observant, perhaps he would have noticed harmonising notes being sung by a small crooked figure left behind in the fog....
Suddenly He came to an erupt stop, there in the distance was a cosy, cabin retreat, made for no more than one person. He cocked his headed in several different angles and immediately jumped to the conclusion, this cottage, in the depth of this magical, and mind warping wood, stood for him. The forest had either summoned him a small homely place to spend the night, or he too was loosing his mind, and it was just a figment of his imagination. Felix, too idle minded to think things through, galloped along the path, imagining a warm fire caressing his skin, and sending him into a deep,deep sleep. If he weren't so busy, concocting pleasant imagery in his mind and if, just if he'd bothered to look back the way he came, maybe he would have noticed the intricate pathway disappear, leaving nothing but dead leaves and wildlife carpeting the forest floor.
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