I feel that my husband is manipulating me or ? We have been married for seventeen years now, and he was never very interested in sex ? we make love perhaps once a year. He works from an office right beside the house so getss up after me in the morning, just in time to drop me at the station. He does attend to the shopping and preparing the evening meal which are both things he enjoys doing. I don?t get home till after 8 at night, so we have settled into a routine, with television on, and no time to talk. He tends to fall asleep in the evening anyway. At the weekends he likes to get up late, shop, eat and go to bed in the afternoon for a sleep. He doesn?t like going out, except occasionally to the restaurant when his boss invites him. I look after the garden, the house, any jobs like cleaning walls, carpets etc. The problem is that he never wants to do anything, so any activities like going to the pictures, to visit a castle or anything at all I have to do on my own. I repainted the kitchen on my days off at Christmas and he never said anything about it looking good, better or anything! He never says anything positive about anything I do, or shows an interest in doing anything with me, be it in bed or otherwise, and when I try to talk about it calmly he accuses me of always coming out with the same old story, and goes off and sulks for days, hiding in his office.
Recently I was feeling really down, for no reason, and told him explaining that I felt in need of a bit of cheering up. No reaction whatsoever.
Last week we were out with his boss for a meal and he brought up the subjects of pets. My husband went off into a tirade about filthy creatures, unhygienic and so on. I?m afraid I lost it as I got quite angry with him ? he knows that my family has always kept pets and that I would love to have one.
We have gone on separate summer holidays for a number of years as I have a medical condition that stops me from exposing myself to strong sunlight. He likes the sun, so off he goes, and I have discovered that he is purchasing a flat on the Med for the ?family?.
Am I wrong in considering that he is is trying to control me by continually putting me down, what I do, my beliefs, my needs? Am I taking this too personally? I don?t know what I should/can do?
Thank you
He was diagnosed with diabetes in September and is trying to bring blood sugar levels down. He has tablets, no injections. Pills make him even sleepier. I really appreciate your comments, some are surprising to me but give rise to deep thought. He is not an unintelligent man, quite the opposite really.
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