My mum has lately begun hurting me. It wasn't bad at first and I could understand that she was punishing me for something I was actually responsible for. Lately, she's gotten very religious and she gets put off and angered when I oversleep for church or don't go to the religious youth club. She wakes up at 3/4am each morning to make us all pray to God and read the bible. I have difficulties with my sleep already so when I manage to get an intended long sleep, I get interrupted and woken up. When it happens on school days, I can't focus in class the whole day and I fall behind in class. I've had this focusing problem every one of my Chemistry lessons and I dropped from A* to D, from second highest achieving Triple Science student in my whole year, to last in the top 4 sets. My attendance has decreased greatly due to not managing to get sleep and spending the school day sleeping. I'm late a lot when I get sleepy after the bible session in the morning and fall asleep. My school have been sending warnings to kick me out.
That's not the main problem though.
Two weeks ago, my mum got stressed out because of the school warnings. She got the belt on me and started screaming 'Leave my daughter alone, Satan' while repeatedly whipping my back with all her power. I fought back and she took my phone away. I rely on my phone to keep me safe in case she does something worse. I could call someone to help me and pick me up. So her taking it meant everything would go worse for me. She accidentally dropped it and I picked it up, throwing myself on the floor. She took the opportunity to trample on me and kick me against the wall, her being 13 stone while I am a 6 stone 14 year old. I screamed and my sister came in and pushed my mum off. Mum gave me a kick in the face and walked off. This happened while she wore shoes, may I add.
Weeks went by where I got threatened with the oven lighter and days were I got burnt with it or had the warm water and the light turned off while I'm in the shower so I'd have to shower in the dark and cold and my asthma would worsen.
Today, I overslept for church. She came up to my room with a wooden fill broom and hit me with the top flat wooden bit. The first time it was gentle then it got harder and harder that I eventually threw myself off the bed, trying to run out through my window. She hit me in the face with it and I started sneezing then nose bleeding. She told me that I don't dare mess up her carpet and if I did something really really bad would happen to me, which I wouldn't like to mention. I ran underneath the bed but she moved the bed so she could get to me. My aunt ran up, telling me to 'Shut the **** up!'. I didn't listen because the pain was so unbearable, so my aunt joined in and punched me about three times before pulling me out by the hair. I pinched her hand and screamed at her that I could call Childline and she backed off. My mum told me that I need to learn to respect those older than me and she said she'd hit me with the wood until my bones would break. She randomly stopped and walked off, telling me that if I didn't leave for church while she's downstairs, she'd take it even worse.
I went to the toilet to wash my face. I undressed and there was bruises all over me. My arms have burn marks and scratches. My elbow is all puffed and bruised. Half my back is blue with bruises. My legs have both been cut but lightly so I could put a plaster on it. My nose hurts when I touch it and so does the bit right below my right eye, above my cheekbones.
I had a talk with my mum where she told me that if I dared call Childline like I told my aunt that I would, I'd only be ruining my own life. I'd be placed in care and be around strict people. I don't have close friends because I'm very paranoid about who to trust and such, so she said I'd be very alone if I left behind my family.
She changes moods so easily. As I'm typing, she's being nice to me. Every time she hurts me, she spends a bit of time being nice to me or treating me. After she hurt me earlier, she called me on the phone from downstairs asking if I'm okay. I said 'Yes' and she hung up.
I want to stop this. But I'm scared about being put in a place where I can't trust the people. I don't want to have a strict family or move schools and I don't want to mess up my family. Idk I'm confused. I need help. Please.
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