how did you survive or cope ?
i have BPD and ptsd and had a very hard life , missed out on everything - relationships , employment , qualifications , study , have a criminal record a long psychiatric record etc..
i live alone in a one bedroom apartment on disability in england , my only goal in life is to leave england and move abroad to a hot climate..
i own nothing accept an old computer.
i have no social support network accept my mother and a few online friends.
im now 30.
im pursuing help from psychiatric services and inspite of my disadvantages im determined to overcome my issues , i have an injured ankle ( torn ankle ligaments due to a strain a year ago ) - needs operating on...
cracked skin on the head of my penis , waiting to see a dermatologist.
im physically weak and out of shape, been inactive for very long due to bad anxiety.
my main problems are rage , rage attackss, paranoia , severe low self esteem, panic attacks and anxiety , racing thoughts , aggraphobia , disocociation.
in general i like to hear about the hardships of the world because it makes me feel ' im not alone in my torment '.
obviously i get very lonely living alone, with aggrophobia to. and struggling with rage and social problems.
however i get really enraged, confused and angry when i see things like this on youtube , of people happy, doing well, enjoying their lives , happy go lucky joyous faces , with fresh faced looks - i feel jealous and enraged at them..
my ankle is injured due to a sprain a year ago, torn ligaments , needs an operation.
i have a small sized penis , only just 6 inches , not as thick as other guys girls , the skin is cracked on the penis head , torn, im waiting to see a dermotologist for a 3rd opinion, after the last dermatologist said there was no skin disorder - i was told excessive masturbation could of caused it.
also the head of my penis is small to, not big and broad like a mushroom.
i live alone on disability in a small apartment, i own nothing except an old dusty computer - no carpets on floor etc .
waiting to get the right therapy, ive aged prematurly, im starting from scratch , i have no work history, a criminal record 7 years ago, been in a psyche hospital years ago , a disadvantaged past etc.
my only goal is to move abroad and leave england, near the coast.
but for now i live in squalor , i own nothing, i cant afford nice things either.
no xbox, no digi camera, no mobile phone, no clothes ( i literally wear rags ) - no laptops, no big tv, no cable , no sky.
no FCK all !!!!
have you ever had to live like this , how did you cope ?
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