please can i have serious answers regarding this not just a sentence to make your two points.
I fear i will lose connections made on the net because im afraid to reach out to them because of rejection
what do i do ?
many people have reached out to me on this site, theres also a girl waiting for a reply on myspace, a polite caring type girl who i messaged weeks ago..
i have such low self esteem, i get clingy to soon.....i run out of things to say and always feel deeply inferior to them.
like im not even worthy to talk to them, like they are far better than me.
ive had a very traumatic life, im 30 now, missed out on life greatly....ive never been employed ever....live in a small flat with no possessions except an old computer....no carpets on my floor etc.....sleep on a matress on the floor.
my flat is a mess because i find it hard to tidy up..
i have borderline personality disorder and ptsd - im waiting for therapy.
i have nothing to offer except a lonely vulnerable heart.
i have physical problems waiting to be investigated - torn ankle ligaments - frequent urination, needsurgery on my ankle.
if i was to bring an internet friend back to my flat for eg - & they saw how i live
the nothingness i have-- the mess-- the no possessions - my insecure, vulnerable, unselfassured, inferior, low self worth self - theyd surely reject me and abandon me..
ive never built up a single relationship in life - and i fear the few internet friends ive made will abandon and reject me because im scared to reciprocate and reach out to them ?
afraid to reach out or reply for fear they will reject me once they get to know me.
rejection is all ive ever experienced to.
how do i get over this ?
i want to reach out and talk to people but im terrified to.....i might start to like them.....then they might let me down, hurt or reject me..
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