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DO YOU THINK I AM A GOOD WRITER? HERES A BIT OF A STORY I AM WORKING ON, PLEASE BE TRUTHFUL!?




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My mouth was gagged with a red cotton cloth, blood was dripping from my forehead onto my face, I lay there infront of my dead mother, my neck was still bleeding, but i was still alive. I stood up and looked around, I was in some sort of empty factory, there was metal canisters along the side of the building. I smelt gas, I suddenly realised what is going to happen, I ran to the door and screamed, it was locked. It was silent. Beep, Beep, A bomb!, I knelt on the floor and cryed. Beep, Beep, Beep. I Closed My Eyes. Beep, Beep, Beep. Silence. The Beeping had stopped, I opened my eyes cautiously. The door opened, there stood a man, he had my sisters severed head in his hands, he chucked it at me.
I just stared at him.
"What?" He said " Why do you want to kill me?"
" I don't want to kill you!, I Wanted to see what you would do, I wanted to let you suffer and watch you reaction when you see you dead family"
I Screamed.
" And Oh Yeah, Your Mum Suffered a long time, So don't worry."
" Untie Me"
"What?"
" I Said Untie Me!"
" And Why Would I Do That?"
He Turned On The Lights, I looked around, there were about 20 of my family and friends layed around the room with various body parts cut of.
The murderer stook out his hand.
" Come With Me"
" Why Should I?"
" Do You Wanna Stay Here And Die With The Rest Of Your Family"
I Thought for a second, I have nothing else left in my life, but I would not be happy to let someone kill my family and get away with it. I took his hand.
" Gooooooddd" He Said.
He took my head then pushed me outside.
He Ran backwards.
" Come on then, You don't wanna get caught" He said.
"By What?"
It was to late the bomb went off and a blaze of fight caught my arm which was covered in gas.
The murderer jumped into the fire and pulled me out.
" Why Do You Want To Save Me?" I Said.
He ignored Me, He shoved me in the boot of his car and locked me in. I bashed and bashed the door but no answer...

I found myself laid down flat on the floor, I knelt up, my neck was killing me but the wound was healing. My hair had been cut, which was a Kind of relief since it was getting stuck in some of the blood. The room was a blur, it looked like a dark dingy bedroom, the wallpaper rotting, the bed sheets were mouldy and the carpet was damp but accept for that it seemed like a normal room. I lent up slowly, making sure I didn't disturb anything.
"Where Am I?" I whispered
I felt a cold hand be placed on my shoulder then a hard metal blade being placed around my neck, it was the murderer.
" Listen To Me, You've Got To Forget About Your Family And Your Friends, I'm And The Only One You Can Trust Now, So You..."
"Why Should I Trust You?" I interrupted.
"Why Should You Trust Me! Why Should You Trust Me!?" He Said Sarcasticly,
"Well I Am The Only One That Is Sane In This Crazy Little World" He Laughed Insanely. I just stood there staring at him, trying not to look scared.
" So You Are Going To Do What I Tell You, Ok?"
He put the blade on my chin and forced me to nod my head.
"Brilliant I Knew You Would Come To My Side Sometime."
He took the blade from my neck and took his hand of my shoulder, he was rummaging around in his purple jacket trying to find something in the many pockets he had.
"What You Want From Me?" I Said hoping for an answer. But he was silent, I saw a glimpse of some home-made gunades in his pocket.
"Your Not Going To Kill Me Are You?"
" I've Told You Before, I Have No Intention Of Killing You." But he had a smirk on his face.
"Then Why Did You Kill My Family?"
"For An Experiment, I Needed To Know How Strong You Really Are, And You Didn't Dissapoint." He Licked His Lips. " You See, People These Days Don't Show You There Real Emotions, But If You Let Them Role, These Sane People.. They'll Eat Eachother. You See Me And You Are Different , We Don't Rely On The Government Or The Police To Protect Our Little Lives. No. We Can Do What We Want, When We Want, And You've Got To Trust Me On This One."
"How Do You Know I'm Like You?" I Said
He took his hand out of his pocket and grabbed my hand, he put his thumb on my wrist and found my pulse.
"It's in you blood" He whispered in my ear, he stood there with a smile on his face.
"How can you smile, with everything that has happened? How can you smile for all the lives that you have ended?" I Shouted, Nearly Crying.
"How can you not smile for everything that has happened? How can you not smile for all the lives I have taken, You Never Know, They Might Have Gone To A Better Place Than This Hell Hole." He Laughed right in my face, I stood back and slapped him.
"Ahhh, I Little Fight In You, I Like That, You See I Knew You Would Come To My Side" He Licked His Lips " I Knew You Would Want To Know How It Feels To Make Someone Feel Pain. Everyone Has The Urge To Want To Hurt Someone Inside, It's Just That A Lot Of People Haven't Let It Out." He Smiled " And Now You Have Shown My Your True Colours, You Have Shown Me What You Are Capa
Continued: You Are Capable Of, But You Have Got To Show Me More, Oh Yeah..." He Stuck His Hand In His Pocked And Pulled Out A 15" Knife. "So To Show Me What You Are Capable Of You're Gonna Need This" He opened out my fist and placed the knife on my hand, purposely cutting me and making in bleed.
" You Ready?" He Said, I Nodded.

He chucked me outside and pointed at an old man in a grey suit.
?You see that man over there? His name is William Harkins, and he is on to me. I need you to follow him back home, got that? Then take him somewhere quiet, Hmmmm? All I need is his wallet, his bank detail,Oh Yeah, and his head. You know what to do.? I stumble down the step then hid the knife in my pocket, I looked back at the murderer and smiled at him, I felt scared but all I could do was smile. William went straight to his house, 22 Harperview Street, Grangeshire. I noted it down, I let him get settled into his house for 5minutes then knocked on the door.
?Hello?
?Hiya? I pressed his shoulders
?Hiya? I pressed his shoulders and pushed him back into his house, I got him comfortable on the sofa. I sat next to him and squeezed his knee.
?Excuse Me? Said William a little scared.
?Shhhh, Let's just get on with it? I made it look like I was taking off my top when I took out the 15? knife, I stabbed him right in the chest, I heard him squeel, and honestly that was the best sound I had heard in my life, blood squirted out but I didn't care, I twisted the knife around a bit then pulled it out, he fell dead on my knee. I took of his blood stained jacket and removed his wallet. I took a search round his house, he had a big filling cabinet filled with papers. I looked up ?B? There it was WILLIAM HARKINS OFFICIAL BANK DETAILS Printed in black and white, I took it and and ran out the door. ?Oh Yeah, The Head? I Ran back in and found a tescos bag, I took the knife and sawed the head of the corpse, it took a lot of effort as the bone was not easy to get through, I cut through the final
final layer of skin and it was off, but my clothes were blood stained, I ran up stairs looking for his wardrobe, he had some terrible fashion sense, I mean cream trousers? At the back was a dark purple suit just like the murderers, I tried it on, it was a perfect fit, I took my knife and looked in the mirror, my hair looked at right mess with dried blood stook on the end. I cut it all off giving myself shoulder length hair, I grabbed the tesco bag containing the severed head then ran outside, I walk back as if nothing had happened. I entered back to the murderers house and chucked the tesco bag on the floor.
?Good? He Said ?You Got It, You See I Knew You Had A Dark Side In You Somewhere? He hovered around my neck trying to make me scared. He opened the tesco bag,
?He was a right old fella wasn't he?? Looking at me for an answer, I said nothing. He stuck out his hand,
?The Papers?
? I got closer to the murderer, I bet he was rich aswell hey? You see me only being 15 I have no-where to
e no-where to go, no house, no family, no money and you are the one who took it away from me, so I think I need a bit of compensation, don't you agree??
?Look just hand over the papers? He Shouted, But I was intimidated by him, not anymore.
?You're gonna kill me after arn't you? You're scared that I am going to go off and tell the police, Arn't you? Well I'm not going to fall for that trick anymore.?
?Listen to me, Like I have said before, I have no intention of killing you, but If you don't hand me the money then I might change my mind.?
I slipped the money into his hand the quickly swiped it away again.
?Right? He Said, he went into another room and didn't come back for a few minutes, I stook my head around the door to see what he was doing. Before I could move he aimed a big AK-47 machine gun at my head.
?Now give me the money and the papers?
I Stood Still.
?Look.. I'm Not This Type Of Person, I Don't Go Killing Inasant People... So How Bout You Give Me The Papers, And Ill Let You
Stay With Me??
I Moved my hand slowly to his and passed over the wallet and papers. He took it and then stashed it in his safe, he also took something out, a pair of purple worn leather gloves.
?Fingerprints?He Said ?Cops are always looking out for them, from now on your gonna need these?
I took them off him and slipped them on my hands, they were a bit big but the felt OK.
? Thanks ? I said
?Look there isn't time in this cruel world to say please and thank you's OK?Just take them off me?
He Smiled
?Look I've got to go, you stay here I will be back in an hour.?
?What should I do??
?Create Chaos? He Said and laughed while he walked out the door
?What Is That Meant To Mean?? But He had gone, I decided to take a look around, his drawers were filled with weapons and knives, TNT and explosives, I took a few just incase of emergency. I heard the door unlock, he was back already. I heard a scream and ran forward, he had my aunty.
?Let her go?
? And you think that is going to change my mind?
?You Said You Don't Go Round Killing Inasant People?
?Well I Lied? And He Laughed Insanely?
I Pulled out a pocket gun from my pocket and pulled the trigger... Nothing...
?You think I leave my guns loads, for you to play around with?? He Smirked.?Pass It Here?
I chucked the gun at him. He took bullets out of his pocket and loaded the gun, He chucked it back at me.
?Go On Then, I Want You To Do It... Come On Come On Come On?
I Aimed for the murderers face and started to pull the trigger, but I couldn't pull myself to it, I moved the gun sideways purposely missing. But it hit my aunty right in the face, she fell flat on the ground.
?Noooooooooooooo? I ran towards her trying to pick her off the ground, but he stopped me.
?She's gone, let her go?
?Nooo?
?Let her go...? He Repeated.
?You Did This, You Made Me Do This.?
?I Didn't make you do anything, it was your choice, you could of stayed back at the factory and burned to death with your family.? He Laughed again
?I Wish I Did?
?Now think
?Now think about this seriously, do you really want to burn to death? Because I will let you if you want to? Or do you wanna stay with me? And enjoy life against the police, against the government, against the rules, hmmmm? I Know? He took my shoulder and lead me to kitchen.
?You Must be hungy let me get you something to eat? he went to the fridge and got some sort of pork and took out some bread, he spread the sandwich with margarine then put a big juicy layer of pork in it. He passed it over to me.
? Go on eat it up?
I put it in my mouth.
?Now go on swallow It?
I spat it out immediately.
?Poisoned.?
?Ahhh, So Your not as dumb as you look.?
?So you would of just let me die like that, for everything I have done for you??
? Yeah I Guess.?
? Your Insane?
? I Know and isn't it so much fun? He laughed and walked out the room.

 DO YOU THINK I AM A GOOD WRITER? HERES A BIT OF A STORY I AM WORKING ON, PLEASE BE TRUTHFUL!? on Yahoo answers




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