heres what happened 2 weeks ago at therapy assessment and circumstances for me in general :
ive been waiting months for therapy, ive had a tragic horrific life so far - im 30 now - i have borderline poersonality disorder and ptsd..
my life has been one long tradgedy so far .
2 weeks ago i went for my therapy assesment where they asked me a group of questions about my life so far.
ive been told in general that the correct therapy for bpd is dialectal behaviour therapy ....
however at this stage dr andrew told me its not certain whether their psychotherapy centre can help me yet.....its just an assesment.
and that they can only offer group therapy - what the hell ?
can anyone advise what to do here, because where i live, this is the only therapy unit available....
and i thought i might get dbt or individual psychotherapy.
i really battle with my disorder and rage and feeling alienated from society and just want to move ahead with my life........ive already missed out a great deal in life..
so what do i do, do i take their therapy if they offer it me ?
i exist alone, living in a one bedroom flat on disability benefits in england- i feel ostracised and alienated from society.
i have no one except an aging mother whos always stood by me and done her best for me, shes 58 now and cant get up to see me like she once did.
i have alot of aggression problems that ive improved with all by myself over the years.....i used to have rage outbursts in public that i didnt plan, but comes from years of severe bullying.
ive basically had a horrifically hard life, missed out on forming ' any ' relationships with anyone........ missed out on ever being employed or gaining any qualifications.........missed out on an education..
im extremely lonely, abandoned....forgotten about by society......i sit in my apartment every night and no one seeks me out, tells me im worth something........its like i dont matter to anyone in society.
i feel people are aloof and standoffish to me like they were to me in the past , like no one wants to know me..
i feel stigmatised as somebody to avoid because of my criminal mental past and rage problems....
no one to phone....no one to phone me.....no one to turn to....a tormented, disadvantaged past..
im 30 now, i own nothing....live on disability.....have a dusty old pathetic computer........no carpets on the floor.....have borderline personality disorder and ptsd.
wait for therapy........have torn ankle ligaments an injured ankle.....was told it will take a while to heal.
ive aged prematurly in my face..
have physical imperfections : 2 missing teeth - front bottom row- saving for dental treatment- cant afford anything right now.
this happened after i headbutted a wall years ago through anger.
my only goals in life is to attain a good paying computer job....to live a peaceful life near the coast........to leave england.......to find a loving partner....to eventually live in spain or another part of europe.
ive been waiting all this time for therapy and it has entered my head have they given me the ' run around ' ?
been given the run around because i have complex issues and disorders , bpd and ptsd.
would probally need DBT or individual psychotherapy and they offer me ' group therapy '.
to me its like their conspiring to ' not help me '.
how would group therapy help ?
a while ago in an assesment one psychologist said i wouldnt benefit from group therapy because i have people problems..
this was at the same therapy centre - now another therapist there is saying the only thing they can offer due to lack of funding is ;
group therapy
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