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Critique this poem...? O_o?




Carpet Floors - the soft and comfortable side of living.

Hi. I'm 12 and this is my first attempt at rhyming, so...

Red stains on your bed spread, knife on the floor,
Dirty needles on the carpet, behind your closed door,
This is your life; here it is in black and white,
You?re stuck in a tunnel, but where?s the light?

Trapped in a dead-end job, nothing to live for,
So many drugs you take, going against the law,
But you can?t end it; you still find the will to live,
Living on the streets, begging people to give.

Searching for the headlights, trapped in the night,
Watch as people board their planes, where?s your flight?
Open up new surprises, but they aren?t enough,
You?re at rock bottom; you?re starting to give up.

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