I am 16 and was inspired by a book i read to write one of my own. The people i have told about this all seem sceptical. I already have a publication advisor. Now i just need to write the book. I have just started, i need some feedback on the little i have done, as i can't judge my own work fairly. Any constructive criticism would be much appreciated and any changes you think might help the narrative. Also if anyone has any ideas about what i could call chapter 1 i'd really appreciate it. :) This is what i have so far.
Snap
From the moonlight shining through the window, Nathan could tell it was still dark out; he couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours. Glancing at his alarm clock, he raised himself up onto his elbows; it was two fifteen. What had woken him? He remembered a snap, but he wasn't sure if he had dreamed it. It was probably nothing.
As the grogginess of sleep left him, Nathan noticed several things simultaneously. His bedroom door was open, the outside handle was broken.
So much for it being nothing.
After slowly rising and slipping into a pair of loose fitting jeans, Nathan crept to his cupboard and took out the Louisville slugger, he had bought as a souvenir from his trip to America last year. Despite the chill, his hands felt sweaty and he found it hard to keep a good hold on the bat. Reaching the door, Nathan inspected the outer handle. The metal was warped and twisted, as if someone had crushed it in the palm of their hand. But that was ridiculous.
Probably a burglar, he thought. From the damage to the handle he hoped it was just a burglar.
Nathan nudged the edge of the broken handle with the tip of the Louisville slugger; and immediately regretted it. The whole handle fell to the floor, the metal grating against the wood, landing with a dull thump, the sound muffled by the carpet. He stiffened, hands tightening on the slugger, half expecting to be attacked at any moment. Nothing happened. Realising he had been holding his breath, he exhaled, as quietly as he could.
|
HOME
· Carpet flooring
BUY & FIT CARPET FLOORING
· Carpet Fitting
· Wholesale Carpet
· Carpeting Quotes
· DIY Carpets
· Carpet stairs
· Carpet Right
· Wilton Carpet
· Allied Carpet
CARPET MAINTENANCE & CLEANING
· Carpet Cleaning
· Carpet Cleaning Service
· Carpet Cleaner
· Vax Carpet Washer
· Carpet Steam Cleaner
· Karcher Carpet Cleaner
· Carpet Cleaner Kent
· Bissell Carpet Shampoo
TYPES OF CARPET
· Bathroom Carpet
· Kitchen Carpet
CARPET FLOORING ON THE WEB
· Carpet articles and questions
MORE LINKS
|