I'm having a problem picking the story up again when a character wakes up the next morning. I'm not asking for 17 pages of detailed stuff, but maybe a line or two to start me off would be greatly appreciated.
Basically, the character wakes up the morning after a suicide attempt, and she is hungover and ill, but decides that she still has to go to work. If it helps, here is what I had so far, from the night before: (it's not great, I know)
I was just sprawled across my bed. My hair was a mess and make-up smudged down my cheeks. And I was just lying there, breathing heavily and screaming a name. His name. With a large knife in my left hand, and a half-empty bottle of vodka in my right, both the bedlinen and my clothes saturated with tears. My apartment looked like the scene of a murder, glass and paper was strewn across the floor, and the stench of vomit, cigarettes and cheap alcohol was almost overwhelming. I'd hit rock bottom. Again. But this time, alcohol wasn't making it better.
I saw alcohol as my best friend. Especially vodka. As soon as the taste of nail-polish remover left my mouth it was like going to a parallel universe. A place where I was happy. It gave me temporary respite from all my problems. But now, no matter how much I forced myself to drink, I still wanted to die.
Shaking, I sat up and readied myself . I took another generous swig from the bottle, most of it missing my mouth and going down my shirt.
?Along the wrist and I'm going to the hospital, across for the morgue.? I whispered, taking the glinting kitchen knife from the bed and slashing my forearm.
Crimson blood oozed from the incision. It felt so satisfying to be in control of my own pain.
I had never noticed the beautiful colour of blood, and that alone spurred me on to cut myself again.
So I did, this time viciously digging the blade into my arm, my lips drawing back into a snarl as I twisted the handle and removed the bloody knife.
My wrist throbbed, and for some sick, twisted reason I smiled. I was getting some kind of morbid pleasure from inflicting pain upon myself. I deserved it. But once it had dawned on me what I had done, I began to panic.
This time it wouldn't stop bleeding.
I never meant to cut myself this badly. I never actually intended to kill myself. It was a mistake, I just got carried away.
Blood trickled down my mangled arm and began cascading into my trousers, some beginning to form a puddle in the carpet.
And it wouldn't stop. After a few minutes I had probably shed enough to fill a mug and I was beginning to feel giddy and light-headed.
This really wasn't meant to happen. And I didn't even know basic first aid.
The room began to swim as I ran into my bathroom and opened the cupboard, knocking over several bottles of anti-depressant tablets in a fit of panic as I raided it for bandages and painkillers.
I had finally found a packet of bandages, and I tore off the plastic wrap and discarded it onto the floor, before hurriedly attempting to bind my throbbing arm.
Frantically, I wrapped an adequate length of bandage around my bloody wrist but patches of crimson kept seeping through, and a few drops splattered onto the lino floor.
I must have lost a dangerous amount of blood. I felt so dizzy and disorientated that I could hardly stand up, and my vision was blurred and hazy.
I slammed the cupboard door shut and stared blankly at my reflection in the dirty mirrored panel.
I looked worse than I thought, and I struggled to hold my gaze. The tears began pouring from my eyes again, clouding my glasses. I paused to wipe them, suddenly noticing the dark, bloodshot whites of my once beautiful malachite green eyes.
I wiped tears and the trails of mascara from my cheeks and sighed.
?I am going to get through this.? I mouthed the words.
?I am going to get through this.?
?I am going to get through this.? I shrieked, hammering my fists against the mirror and making my right forearm bleed even more. I looked up to my reflection of my bedraggled auburn hair and protruding cheek bones.
What had become of me?
?I am going to die.?
And hopefully soon.
Thanks a million, please can you just give me a little to build on for the next part. :)
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